2. Make up a credit card name and ask if they accept it.

3. Ask for a Big Mac, French fries and a Large Coke.

4. Finish the order with: “Remember, this conversation never happened”.

5. Tell him you’ve got another pizza delivery on the other line and you’re buying from the one who offers the lowest price.

6. Just give him your address and say “Surprise me”. Then hang up.

7. Answer his questions with other questions.

8. Spell the ingredients.

9. Stutter every time you say something with the letter “P”

10. Ask him if they have pizza.

11. Say “Hello” and act as if he called you.

12. Make your order being very decided and secure, then when he asks you if you would like a drink with the pizza, act as if you were confused.

13. Change your accent every 5 seconds.

14. Ask for 56 pepperoni slices followed by an equation.

15. If he repeats the order to make sure, say “Ok, it’s $17.90, please proceed to the next window to pick up your order”.

16. Explain him that you want to rent a Pizza.

17. Ask if you can keep the box. When he answers yes, make a huge sigh of relief.

18. Ask him if they exploit child labor.

19. Tell him to make sure that your pizza is dead.

20. Imitate the voice of the guy taking the order.

21. Eliminate the verbs of everything you say.

22. Ask if you could see the menu.

23. Warn them that they have no idea of what they are dealing with by supplying this order.

24. Burp and then tell your dog that he should be ashamed.

25. Ask only for one slice.

26. Complain about the service. Call again two hours later saying that you were drunk and that you are sorry about what you said.

27. Tell the guy taking the order to tell the one in charge to tell the supervisor that he’s fired.

28. Stop speaking every 10 seconds and start playing an instrument.

29. Tell a secret code to the guy taking the order and tell him to memorize it for orders you’ll make in the future.

30. Ask for mushrooms as the first ingredient, then before you hang up, say “no mushrooms please”. Then hang up before he can say anything.

31. When he repeats the order, correct him changing an ingredient, then correct him again, and again. The third time ask him if it’s his first day working there.

32. Breath loudly.

33. Ask him how many whales/dolphins had to die to make that pizza.

34. Avoid using the word “PIZZA” by any means. If the guy taking the order says it, hang up saying “Please, don’t use that word”.

35. Make the order during a car chase on TV. When there are gunshots, yell “Aaarghhh”.

36. If the guy taking the order doesn’t take any of the previous jokes, ask him if there’s any other who would take them.

I was having one small problem, though. I could lead Oakey straight and left, but whenever I’d try to turn right he’d run up next to me, blocking my path, and start dragging me away from where I wanted to go. I asked my horse friends online what I should do to fix the problem. They said to carry a riding crop out there with me and tap Oakey on the chest whenever he ran in front of me – this would tell him to step back to where he is supposed to be. I tried it, and it worked! Tonight in our workout, Oakey hardly gave me any trouble at all! It is so encouraging when I can worked with Oakey and actually see progress.

Not to be outdone by the Scots, in the weeks that followed, English scientists dug to a depth of 200 metres and shortly after headlines in the newspapers read; English archaeologists have found traces of 2000 year old fibre-optic cable and have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech digital communications network a thousand years earlier than the Scots.

One week later, Estonian newspapers reported the following:
After digging as deep as 500 Metres in Narva, Estonian scientists have found absolutely nothing. They, therefore, have concluded that 5000 years ago, Estonia’s inhabitants were already using wireless technology.

I had a blast visiting Grandmama, the DiMarias, and Uncle Mark and Aunt Betty.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don’t disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it “IN”.

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write “for smuggling diamonds”.

7. Finish all your sentences with “in accordance with the prophecy”.

8. Don’t use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat – with a serious face.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is “to go”.

12. Sing along at the opera.

13. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day at work.

14. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don’t rhyme.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can’t attend their party because you’re not in the mood.

16. Have your coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream “I won! I won!”

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling, “run for your lives, they’re loose!!”

19. Tell your children over dinner “due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go…”